KHC Devotional

Sunday, August 25

Help Pastor! I am single but I double date. I am married, but I am having affairs.

Your spring water is for you and you only, not to be passed around among strangers. Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose-- don't ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore? for dalliance with a promiscuous stranger? Mark well that GOD doesn't miss a move you make; he's aware of every step you take. (Pro 5:17-21 MSG)

The above scripture admonishes men to stay faithful to their wives. Learn to enjoy your spouse and stop looking elsewhere. I always advise guys when they want to choose a wife not just to pray, but to ‘watch and pray!’ It is important you marry someone that is physically attractive to you. Men are moved by sight. What is the sense in getting married, and three weeks later or few months after, you’ve found yourself in the arms of another/woman? That is a dangerous thing to do. It is not only dangerous to you; it is a direct affront on God and His principles!

The above scriptures says ‘Mark well that God doesn’t miss a move you make; he is aware of every step you take. This means that when you start desecrating

the marital covenant and you start looking and fooling around with someone else apart from your wife, you are not going to have God’s support. You risk losing his favour, mercy and protection.

Stay with your spouse and don’t fall into adulterous traps. This applies to the ladies too. Don’t allow yourself to be pressured into an affair at the place of your work. You don’t have any excuse to flirt around! He is not caring, he is not available, he is not sensitive, blab, blab, blab….those are not enough reasons to jeopardise your destiny and risk losing all…because when you sin habitually without repentance, you actually lose God and that means losing all!

So what are the ways to avoid affairs? These tips will help.

Singles, never double date. It is not fun; it is treading on a dangerous ground. When you double date, you are training your heart to accommodate adultery. Once your conscience is seared in that direction, you will give yourself enough justification on why you should do it and why you don’t need help.

Ways to Avoid Affairs

These will help if you have not started an affair, but you want to avoid it.

1.    Don’t spend time alone with the opposite sex

2.    If you are fantasizing about a sexual relationship with someone else apart from your spouse, stay away from that person.

3.    Refuse to talk about feelings of attraction to any other person apart from your spouse.

4.    Never share intimate details about your marriage with a member of the opposite sex. Don’t discuss or report your spouse to another colleague in your office.

5.    Avoid outside influences and environments as much as possible

6.    Constant office trips, office dates, business parties, and private lunches, should be avoided if possible because such can build marital unfaithfulness.

7.    Let your spouse be your top priority.

8.    Talk together and work out all arguments or quarrels. Don’t store up grievances. Learn to resolve all issues and keep your love aflame.

9.    Adjust your attitude.

10.    Love flourishes in a relationship where there is wholehearted trust, respect, and love. Have fun with your spouse.

What if you are already involved? I don’t judge you and God does not condemn you. But He won’t condone that lifestyle as well. Here are a few ways to disconnect.

1.    Know that it is wrong and it is sinful.

2.    Know that the devil can use that avenue to gain access into your family and finances and wreck havoc.

3.    The fact that you still go to church does not cleanse you from adultery. As a matter of fact what happens in such a case is that the spirit of religion and deception takes over. Spirit of religion says you can come to church on Sunday, praise God and pray and go back to adultery on Monday. Spirit of deception tells you that all others are doing the same, you are not alone, you can continue. At this stage, you need to talk to someone who will help you and speak the truth of God’s word into your life to dispel the operations of wrong spirits in your life. The way you will know that there is demonic influence, is that you still continue in such adulterous rendezvous despite knowing that it is wrong!

4.    Stay accountable under someone that can help you! You must be willing to talk about it, not all over the place, but at least with someone that will treat your issue confidentially! Seek help before the sin ruins you!

5.    Disconnect from the person with whom you are involved. Run away! That was what Joseph did to escape adultery. He eventually became a Prime Minister. Samson stayed and played spirituality, combining adultery with being a judge over Israel, because the scripture says He judged Israel for twenty years. He lost his glory, died in the midst of his days and never fulfilled destiny. Surely, that wasn’t God’s plan for him.

6.    Finally. Go to God and ask Him to help you. Fast if you can. At this point, you may ask a trusted man of God to pray with you. You may call me if you like, and I will pray with you! If you are calling today, please make it later in the evening, I have meetings throughout today.

I pray that God will help you as you make up your mind to do it right!

I am faithful to my spouse. I love my spouse. I will not allow any distraction to tear my marriage and home apart. I am sincere to my spouse. My marriage is preserved.
I will not double date. I am committed to my God ordained relationship.

I destroy every marriage killer
I receive wisdom from God to rule in the affairs of this world
Spirit of God, envelope my relationship and marriage with your wisdom and power

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.
(Eph 5:22 MSG)

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church--a love marked by giving, not getting.
(Eph 5:25 MSG)

Disconnect from every relationships/affairs that your spouse does not know anything about of that he does not approve

1 Cor. 7 - 9

By Dunamis & Sophia Okunowo
Powered by Kisses and Huggs Club
Call for Counseling - +2348023507395

Image courtesy of [marin] /


  1. Man of God, thanks for being a blessing to singles and married on this platform. Been enjoying your posts since I got introduced to this site.
    Today's advice to stay off office trips and business parties seems a bit strange. If by virtue of one's position@ work, he or she is expected to attend all these, are you advising they should flout these official obligations to stay off adultery?

  2. Hmm, some gospel truth pastor. I'm a married woman in a fix now with my ex, we have ended the relationship over and over again but we soon connect or contact each and fall. I'm not sure the steps given above will help me now cos I've also gone for counscelling. I need serious prayers. I need help!!!

  3. Well, social/official functions associated with one's jobs are sometimes mandatory for certain positions in the office so that one don't really have a choice but to attend. I believe attending these official duties does not necessarily end in adultery or even fornication it just depends on each individual.

  4. You should attend official functions definitely or that could bother on insubordination. What you should avoid is personal outings and dinners with colleagues.

  5. Actually am single,but later regret double dating ,and now all I seek for from God is forgiveness, God bless you pastor.

  6. I am a married woman but I am already involved with my ex unfortunately we both work in the same place the problem is that I am in love with him and any time I decide to back- off I see myself falling again and again. Please I need help. Another problem is that am not sure of my love for my husband after he used cain to flog me some weeks back. Please counsel me and pray for me because i truly love God.

  7. You didn't write out your number.please can be get it?

  8. A̶̲̥̅♏ a married man,we have kids and ˚ℓ̊ work in different city away from ♏Ɣ family, ˚ℓ̊ L♥√ع sex and ˚ℓ̊ always want it from ♏Ɣ wife whenever A̶̲̥̅♏ around but there is this rejection that ˚ℓ̊ hate š̷̜̩̋ö̤̣̇ much whenever ŚђΞ say No because it gets to ♏Ɣ head, ˚ℓ̊ endured it for a long period of over one year till ˚ℓ̊ finally made up ♏Ɣ mind. On the other hand ˚ℓ̊ have a colleague that care for м̣̣̥̇̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ at the base station but we don't have any intimacy but ♏Ɣ wife keep accusing м̣̣̥̇̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ because A̶̲̥̅♏ š̷̜̩̋ö̤̣̇ plain to her ˚ℓ̊ tell her things around м̣̣̥̇̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ even attimes ˚ℓ̊ made her talk to the lady but ŚђΞ accused м̣̣̥̇̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ but with her rejection and accusation ˚ℓ̊ pushed for her, ŚђΞ already cares only that ˚ℓ̊ was been faithful but now A̶̲̥̅♏ š̷̜̩̋ö̤̣̇ deep in L♥√ع With this lady but reading this column ˚ℓ̊ A̶̲̥̅♏ just š̷̜̩̋ö̤̣̇ confused either to stop and face ♏Ɣ uncaring wife and her attitude which av tried to correct several times or to make it official as in pay her brideprice even if we are not doing any celebration with the other lady and be at peace. A̶̲̥̅♏ really tired but want to be happy

  9. Hmmmmm, God have mercy on me, I have sinned against u and have done dis evil in thy sight. Take not ur Holy spirit from me, restore unto me d joy of ur salvation and renew ur spirit within me.

    Thank u so much 4 dis wondrful piece. Plz why does one stil feel guilty even aftr asking for 4giveness from God, does it mean God did not accept it ? Even dough u v stopd it. V fallen once, a long tym ago , repented cos am a born-again, v askd 4 4givness buh stil d guilt is killing. Stil feel like committing suicide. Wil I eva survive dis?


We love comments!